Those have to be Alec Baldwin's arms, right?
I'm not the only one who feels this way, either; Donald Glover, now a writer/comedian/actor/rapper in possession of my devotion and his own illustrious career, raps in The Last:
And this next part sounds like nonsense/But I swear to God Tina Fey gave me confidence/Taught me everything that's good comes from honesty/Everybody's got a voice, you've just gotta follow it/She's a role model, sh*tHis deep admiration of Tina Fey is more justifiable, considering she actually handpicked him to write for 30 Rock while he was still an undergrad at NYU, but it's nice to know that my fanaticism is both shared and grounded in some reality.
But rather than rambling on about the fabulousness of Fey, I'll share with you some of her brilliance so she can speak for herself. Without further ado, an excerpt from Bossypants by Tina Fey:
The Mother's Prayer for Its Daughter
First, Lord: No tattoos. May neither Chinese symbol for truth nor Winnie-the-Pooh holding the FSU logo stain her tender haunches.May she be Beautiful but not Damaged, for it’s the Damage that draws the creepy soccer coach’s eye, not the Beauty.When the Crystal Meth is offered, may she remember the parents who cut her grapes in half And stick with Beer.Guide her, protect her when crossing the street, stepping onto boats, swimming in the ocean, swimming in pools, walking near pools, standing on the subway platform, crossing 86th Street, stepping off of boats, using mall restrooms, getting on and off escalators, driving on country roads while arguing, leaning on large windows, walking in parking lots, riding Ferris wheels, roller-coasters, log flumes, or anything called “Hell Drop,” “Tower of Torture,” or “The Death Spiral Rock ‘N Zero G Roll featuring Aerosmith,” and standing on any kind of balcony ever, anywhere, at any age.Lead her away from Acting but not all the way to Finance. Something where she can make her own hours but still feel intellectually fulfilled and get outside sometimes And not have to wear high heels. What would that be, Lord? Architecture? Midwifery? Golf course design? I’m asking You, because if I knew, I’d be doing it, Youdammit.May she play the Drums to the fiery rhythm of her Own Heart with the sinewy strength of her Own Arms, so she need Not Lie With Drummers.Grant her a Rough Patch from twelve to seventeen.Let her draw horses and be interested in Barbies for much too long, For childhood is short – a Tiger Flower blooming Magenta for one day – And adulthood is long and dry-humping in cars will wait.O Lord, break the Internet forever, that she may be spared the misspelled invective of her peers And the online marketing campaign for Rape Hostel V: Girls Just Wanna Get Stabbed.And when she one day turns on me and calls me a Bitch in front of Hollister, Give me the strength, Lord, to yank her directly into a cab in front of her friends, For I will not have that Shit. I will not have it.And should she choose to be a Mother one day, be my eyes, Lord, that I may see her, lying on a blanket on the floor at 4:50 A.M., all-at-once exhausted, bored, and in love with the little creature whose poop is leaking up its back. “My mother did this for me once,” she will realize as she cleans feces off her baby’s neck. “My mother did this for me.” And the delayed gratitude will wash over her as it does each generation and she will make a Mental Note to call me. And she will forget. But I’ll know, because I peeped it with Your God eyes.Amen.
Online source: http://melodygodfred.com/2011/04/15/a-mothers-prayer-for-its-child-by-tina-fey/
Now please do yourself the colossal favor of BUYING THIS BOOK. Preferably from a Borders so that I'm not out of a job.
Wow. I went to my parents' house this past weekend for Easter Sunday and found myself engaged in a 20-minute conversation with my mother about this book and Tina Fey in general. She just finished this book last week and loved it. I -- unfortunately, I now know -- came to the conclusion that, despite liking Fey's comedy in the past, I wouldn't like this book, so I didn't take it back to my place of residence with me.
ReplyDeleteWhy did I do that? I don't know. I regret it now, after reading your hilarious review and its accompanying excerpt. Maybe I'll call her up and ask her to save me it for the next time I visit, or maybe I'll just head to Borders and purchase my own copy.
I absolutely love Tine Fey as well. I agree with everything you said about her: she's witty, brilliant and on-the-point with everything she does. I have heard very good reviews of her book but that it is aimed for middle aged women and I, as a younger guy, wouldn't like it very much. But the passage you displayed really caught my eye, especially this phrase:
ReplyDelete"May she be Beautiful but not Damaged, for it’s the Damage that draws the creepy soccer coach’s eye, not the Beauty."
Yes, it is clearly aimed at a mother, but it captures the essence of everything I love about Tina Fey. It's hilarious yet full of wisdom. I think we both share a love of Tina Fey and you may have convinced me to buy her book.
This is a great post and a great choice of a passage from her writing to highlight. As much attention as she does get, Tina Fey in my opinion has blossomed from being one of the best writers on Saturday Night Live to become what she is today: a significant voice of this generation. She is definitely one of the leading cultural public intellectuals because her humor doesn’t ever resort to the easy or safe: she takes on politicians; corporate culture and an honest look at the role of women in modern society.
ReplyDeleteWhile I am a male who often, for no reason of specific bias, find male comedians to appeal more to me, Fey has changed the way I view comedy. I think in a lot of ways her success, and more to the point, the success of the type of material and subject matters she focuses on, shows just how far women have come in comedy, the arts but also in business and society in general. There have been many successful comedians in the past, and many who have conquered their own medium at their own time. Gilda Radner, another SNL alum and seemingly the closest historical precedent to Mrs. Fey, was a dominating figure until her death in the late 1970s and early 1980s. More recently, Roseanne Barr, despite her unpopularity in certain groups, managed to take control of Television and produce a show based on her humor, and hers alone.
Still, however, that particular shows focused on Barr’s humorous experience raising children and keeping her slovenly husband in check in her role as matriarch within the home. Fey’s humor depicts what its like to be both a mother, humbling and time-consuming as it is, while also running a major show on a major network. While the Women’s movement has seen women struggling to figure out their role as a mother and an ambitious member of the working world, I think Fey represents the solution that has been reached in the last decade or so in not having to compromise either, yet making fun of the toll the balancing act can take. The book, which I read a large portion of recently, is amazing because it takes the experience of being a woman in modern society, and it is certainly spoken from a very gender specific example, but entertains an audience of all gender or race because its truly funny, smart and daring.
There are few comedians who represent the bards or court jesters of their certain epoch in time, and in my own opinion at least, they are Lenny Bruce in the 1960s, Richard Pryor and probably George Carlin in the 1970s, Sam Kinison and Bill Cosby in the 1980s, Jerry Seinfeld and Chris Rock during the 1990s, and I think without a doubt Tina Fey thus far during this new millennium.
I am also a HUGE Tina Fey fan. I think this is a great post and an even greater choice in terms of the passage you picked. I have to admit I did start off as a big SNL fan, and that is when I first started to enjoy her work. Since then she has really made a name for herself. After taking on the persona of Palin, Fey was able to win over tons of worldwide recognition and fan support. She has really become, as was stated previously a “significant voice of this generation.” I would even go as far as to say that she is considered a top notch public intellectual as she fearlessly and candidly takes on people from all walks of life.
ReplyDelete